Connection Without Words: What an 18-Year-Old Client Has Taught Me About Trust
One of the most meaningful parts of my job isn’t the tasks.
It’s the connection.
I have a client right now who is a super sweet 18-year-old. He’s autistic and nonverbal — which can be a hard combination for people who aren’t used to it.
But once you get past the assumption that communication has to be spoken…
You realize something powerful:
He communicates all day long. Just differently.
And I’ve grown a connection with him and his family that I truly care about.
The Best Hello
Every time I come over, the first thing that gets me is his smile.
When he sees me, he smiles and claps — and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever.
It’s one of those moments that reminds me why I do this.
Because it’s not just “caregiving.”
It’s being someone’s safe person.
It’s becoming part of a routine that makes them feel secure.
Learning His World
Over time, I’ve learned the little things that matter to him:
the things that upset him
the things that make him happy
the things he does to get attention
and the ways he communicates needs without using words
People think caregiving is about showing up.
But real caregiving is about paying attention.
Because small things aren’t small — not when they affect someone’s comfort, safety, and peace.
Our Friendship Is Funny (And Real)
One of my favorite things about our dynamic is that it’s genuinely funny sometimes.
One day he used his tablet to ask for a brownie…
So of course I got him the brownie.
And then what did he do?
He threw it at me.
I was like… okay sir I see how it is.
It made me laugh because honestly? That’s life. That’s connection. That’s real.
Sometimes it’s sweet. Sometimes it’s chaotic. Sometimes it’s unpredictable.
But it’s always him being him.
Goldfish and Sweet Tea Are Non-Negotiable
Another thing I’ve learned?
Goldfish and sweet tea are non-negotiable.
If he doesn’t have Goldfish with his meals… he is NOT happy.
And sweet tea? That’s his comfort too.
I always tease the family and say:
“The tea must be a southern thing he learned.”
People might think that sounds like a small thing.
But if you’ve ever cared for someone who thrives on routine, predictability, and comfort items — you understand.
Those “little things” can make the difference between:
a peaceful day
or a really hard one
So yes… Goldfish and sweet tea matter.
The Environment Matters More Than People Realize
He can also get upset if the dogs are being noisy.
And even if they’re not barking — sometimes if they’re simply in his room, it can bother him.
That’s something I’ve had to learn too:
Not everybody experiences the world the same way.
Noise, clutter, changes, and interruptions can feel bigger to him than people understand.
So part of my job is paying attention to what’s happening around him, not just what’s happening to him.
Attention Looks Different When Words Aren’t Available
This is where I want to be honest — because families need to know this.
Since he can’t communicate the way you and I do, he gets attention in different ways.
Sometimes when he wants attention or gets overwhelmed:
he puts his fingers in his mouth like he’s trying to gag himself
he slams his door
And I want to say this gently:
That isn’t “being bad.” That’s communication.
It’s his way of expressing:
“I need you.”
“I’m upset.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“Pay attention to me.”
“Something isn’t right.”
And it’s my job to respond with calm, patience, and consistency — not anger.
Trust Is Built in a Thousand Small Moments
What I’ve learned most with this client is this:
Trust isn’t built in big moments.
It’s built in the little ones.
It’s built every time:
I notice what sets him off
I learn what helps him calm down
I adjust the environment to make him feel safe
I show up consistently
I treat him with respect
And that’s why the connection with his family means so much to me.
Because when families allow someone into their home — especially with a child who needs extra support — that trust is sacred.
A Note From Me
I’m proud of the relationship we’ve built.
And I’m grateful for the lessons he teaches me — even without words.
Because sometimes the deepest communication…
is just a smile, clapping hands, and the feeling of:
“You’re safe with me.”
Need Support?
Caregiving can be heavy — and you don’t have to carry it alone. If you’re looking for trusted in-home care in the Black Hills of South Dakota, I’d love to connect and share support options for your family.
Kayla
Kayla Cares LLC
Where personalized care meets the comfort of your home
Phone: 605-510-7952
